Have you ever felt like the world’s biggest fraud? Do you ever feel like you don’t deserve your achievements, social media followers, business success, and relationships? Yeah, me too.
If you have ever dealt with imposter syndrome, then some of these may sound familiar:
- You self-sabotage because of fear of failure
- No matter how hard you work or how many awards you get, you still feel unsure and scared that you’ll never be good enough
- You have no confidence in your abilities
Imposter Syndrome is more than self-doubt, it’s self-deprecating. It’s feeling like a fraud, like everyone is going to find out, and that every award or accomplishment you’ve achieved will be taken away one day because it was never really deserved in the first place.
Fear has kept me enslaved to my Imposter for years, but no longer. It’s not easy, but slowly and surely, I am stepping away from that part of me and into confidence.
Here is how I did it:
1: Accept you’ll never be perfect
Being a perfectionist is exhausting,I’ve spent more days mentally exhausted and barely making it through the day than I’d like to admit. There’s absolutely no need to be perfect at EVERYTHING you do because if you are seeking perfection you’ll never reach it. It’s time to be imperfect and revel in it.
2: Talk about it
Sometimes we like to keep our feelings close to home and bottle them up. Shame keeps us from admitting that we don’t have it altogether. Start small by confiding in a close friend and before you know it you’ll find out that there are a lot of people who feel the same way you do.
You are not alone.
3: No one really knows what they are doing
The world runs on trial and error. Look at Thomas Edison, inventor of the lightbulb. Did he have success the first time around? No! He tried, and tried, and tried, and tried again until finally, something worked. He is the very reason we are blessed with light, but because he failed before he succeeded. Does that make him a fraud? Not the slightest, and in fact it inspires us! Don’t let fear of failure hold you back—instead, be afraid of what might happen if you never try at all.
4: Develop a new script
Your script is a mental tape that starts playing in situations that trigger your Imposter Syndrome. When you start a new job or project, instead of thinking, “Just wait until they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” think “Everyone who starts something new has a learning curve and I’m smart enough to figure it out and get help when I need it.”
5: Separate feelings from truth
What we feel is not always bleached in truth because our thoughts are volatile creatures, soaring high one minute only to crash the next. Just because you feel stupid doesn’t mean you are stupid. It’s just a thought not you.
6: Reward yourself
Break the cycle of seeking for approval and validation from others and learn to pat yourself on the back and celebrate your achievements. You’ve gotten to where you are now because of you. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed along the way or needed help here or there. You worked hard and said yes to opportunities that have come your way.
Write down all of your successes on a piece of paper and then write down all the steps you took to get there. Post it where you can see it daily.
Imposter Syndrome is an ugly beast but you can rest easy knowing that you are never alone in your struggle and that you now know a few ways you can battle and tame the beast.
About Rebekah Black:
Rebekah Black is an eighteen-year-old blogger, author, mental health advocate, and host of The Hope Prose Podcast. Currently, she serves as a staff writer for P2CDigitalStrategies.com; a growing online platform that reaches thousands of Christian teens, parents, and youth leaders each month. When she is not writing novels or interviewing podcast guests, you’ll most likely find her either lost in the clouds of her imagination, studying languages, or pretending to be an extrovert on Social Media when she’d rather be snuggled under a blanket reading by flashlight. Follow Bekah on Twitter and Instagram.