If there’s anything technology has done for millennials is that it’s provided a gazillion different ways for us to be lazy.
Don’t feel like cooking? There’s an app for that. Don’t feel like hitting up the grocery store? There’s an app for that too. Don’t feel like cleaning your apartment? There’s an app for that and then some.
But because we’ve been so spoiled in those other areas of our lives, that entitled, lazy attitude often spills into our relationships as well. There are five words I hear from couples quite often, that are often a sign of a troubled relationship:
“I don’t feel like it.”
Not too long ago, a couple was speaking to me about how they were fed up with how frequently they argued. While one partner was describing an argument, they said,
“In the moment, I knew I could’ve made the choice to be the bigger person and not argue him, but I just didn’t feel like it.”
Now, I can give them all the insights, tips, tools and advice in the world, but none of it changes the fact that at the end of the day, it will all be for nothing if they don’t take action because they “don’t feel like it.”
And you know what? They will continue to argue. They will continue to fight and be at each other’s throats until one of them chooses to put in the effort to do otherwise.
That goes for your relationship as well. How much of an effort are you putting in to make the relationship work?
Do you apply what those tweets and IG quotes say or do you just repost them?
Do you ask your mate how you can be a better partner to them and then actually follow through or is it just all lip service, until you just resort back to your old habits?
Do you intentionally take the risk to open up and be vulnerable to your mate or do you just tell them half the story, which paints the picture in the most safe and comfortable way?
At the end of the day, you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel like doing. But if that’s the choice to make, you also have to be okay with having a relationship you’re not happy with.
But if you want otherwise, I suggest the following:
Own your laziness.
We’re all lazy when it comes to certain things. But being honest with yourself about it is the only way you can make a change for the better.
Make better choices.
It’s really that simple. Choose to say the thing that brings peace, instead of saying the thing that pushes buttons. Choose to love your partner, even when it’s inconvenient. Choose to be patient when you know it will benefit the relationship as a whole.
You’ll find that when you make better choices, you get better results. And when you get better results, you feel more motivated to continue to make better choices.
Seek each other for support.
Be transparent with your mate about your struggles and allow them to help support you to make sure you’re moving in the right direction. I mean, that’s what they’re there for, right?
There’s a great quote I always see floating around on memes, “Great things never come from comfort zones.” This includes relationships.
Until they make the app that does the work for us, we’re just going to have to step outside our comfort zones to put in the effort our relationship needs to be great.