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Millennials: It’s Time to Conform (a Little)
Guys, we need to talk.
Remember when you were little and your parents signed you up for pee wee football/ballet/basket weaving/et cetera? And when you went to competitions you got a ribbon or trophy just for showing up?
I have news for you: adulthood is not a pee wee football tournament.
As millennials, we’ve always been lauded for our uniqueness. We grew up believing we were special flowers; if we only learned to accept ourselves and develop our individual talents and interests, it would be enough. Didn’t ace the spelling test? That’s okay, you still got a “Good Job!” sticker. Failed to sell the most Girl Scout cookies? You still got prizes for the boxes Mom and Dad sold at work. Only got a bit role in the school play? The show can’t go on without you!
But there’s a problem with this mentality, a problem that explains millennials’ astronomical unemployment rates and why people don’t take Generation Y seriously. The problem is that we think it’s” all about us.”
The Real World isn’t going to give you a cookie just because you write your cover letters in an ironic font, or blog about your pet iguana, or had a few wild nights studying abroad, or got 27 likes for your latest Facebook selfie. As it stands, you will not be rewarded simply for being “special.”
We think our individuality entitles us to self-actualizing jobs, but reality disagrees: it’s time to channel our uniqueness into the mainstream.
Millennials excel at seeing things differently than previous generations, but we can’t execute our vision unless we have our feet in the door. If we’re so capable of changing perspective, we need to understand and follow professional conventions. Otherwise, those older generations—the ones with a wealth of knowledge, experience, and even funding—just won’t care.
It’s time to try on the pantsuits and cover the tattoos; or at the very least, it’s time to learn how to write a better resume, build better work ethic, and gain better job experience.
You need to be you, and that’s okay—but understand that if you want to change the rules, you need to understand why they exist in the first place. Don’t stop until somebody lets you in. Don’t stop until you’ve tried changing the system you dislike from the inside.
Kelly Cohen and Stefanie Petropoulos explained in a previous post that millennials shouldn’t apologize for their coddled upbringing. But the Real World isn’t asking you for an apology—it’s expecting you to earn your ticket to the top anyway. Living your life by tweets and likes (ribbons and trophies) neglects the insight and skills that other successful people can offer you. Be like them—at least a little—and you could gain a lot.
In other words, pee wee football is over; it’s time to play in the big leagues.
9 Responses
What are you talking about? I’m over here accepting internships AFTER graduation for barely any pay with a degree from the best Journalism school in the country, a 3.8 GPA, and 2 other previous internships. The older people I talk to at career feels often “fell into the advertising field” and have never taken a class pertaining to it in their lives, EVER. As millennials, we are OVERLY conforming to the system because we have to in order to “get our foot in the door”. Nobody falls into professions or owning businesses like when the baby boomer generation was getting into the job market. Entry level jobs require 2-5 years experience. Nobody I know is putting their Facebook likes on a resume, instead they have to submit 3-5 work samples, a cover letter, and an essay about “what crayola color they would be” on top of a rec letter.
Hi Katie,
First of all, thanks for reading. You’re spot on: older generations lived with different professional expectations. A degree, let alone relevant coursework, wasn’t necessary for a good job and the career ladder was easier to ascend. Millennials have different circumstances for historical and sociological reasons; you’ve surely heard that we’re the most educated generation (kudos for your academic accomplishments, by the way), but that means that degrees no longer guarantee well-paid employment, or any employment for that matter. It’s not just a matter of being “special,” though that was the focus of my post, that makes it difficult to find jobs—it’s high competition among millennials that are seen as a dime a dozen in terms of work ethic and enthusiasm.
With that competition in mind, your situation is actually better than many. Nobody literally cites Facebook likes on resumes (I hope not, at least), but there are lots of good jobs out there that have lower expectations than you mentioned. Some just think they can earn six figures right out of college because everyone else has validated their dreams of earning six figures—and that’s where the conformity should come in and establish more realistic expectations. It’s good that you talk to older generations in the industry; not only are you building a network, but you also have the opportunity to gain valuable advice from them that could actually advance your career beyond endless internships. As I mentioned in the post, the Real World expects you to earn your ticket to the top—but millennials pay a much steeper price for that ticket than others did. Best of luck to you, and thanks again for reading.
I think a lot of millenials don’t realize that you can express your uniqueness without entirely shirking the expectations of real life.
I agree, Adam! There’s definitely a good balance out there between uniqueness and being like everyone else.
Fabulous post. I am not a millennial, but do interact (and teach) them. I love them. I believe they are making as big, or bigger splash than did the hippie generation-in regards to affecting change and difference in attitude toward job and life. Not all good, but not all bad. I do agree that a little “conformity” can make a difference. A little old-school manners and tact. Great article, great points. Best wishes, it’s tough out there!
Sorry, but when I see someone mocking the ‘everyone wins’ thing, I dismiss whatever else has to be said. That ‘everyone wins’ has made millennials more capable of working in teams. I hope they never conform, because the world will never change. Sure, shame them into being corporate slaves. Good job there.
Let them change the world. It really is ridiculous that people work five days a week, with only two off. Life is short- why spend it all working to make some rich person more rich? The millennials have the right ideas. Let them change the world.
Thanks for reading, Bri! I like to poke fun at the “everyone wins” mentality because, in my own experience, I’ve felt shafted at work for not getting enough praise—and lots of millennials want rewards before putting in the effort. All in jest, of course. Plenty of the millennial workforce works well in teams because we’re more open to diversity than previous generations—though I woudn’t necessarily tie that to getting a trophy every time one of them sold a box of Girl Scout cookies.
Indeed, I don’t want a world in which every millennial becomes a corporate slave either; but after the boomers and gen-Xers retire, corporations will still be around (and we’ll will be in charge). We don’t need to run things the way those generations did, but everyone needs a foot in the door before they can change the whole system. Putting on a suit and being polite to elders is a small step in that direction—and it doesn’t have to suppress your whole identity. That’s why I only stress “a little” conformity in the title, of course! Again, thanks for reading.
Great insight! I definitely think there’s something to be said about balancing uniqueness with conformity and being realistic rather than expecting instant gratification. It’s really tough when it feels like we’ll never reach the same pay as our parents. I have seen some job postings with requirements from the first comment. It’s honestly a shame and perpetuating the growing norm of unpaid work just to gain experience.
The coddling debate always confuses me because I honestly don’t remember EVER having that growing up. LOL. I was the type A anxious kid who worked hard, never got tattoos, and did everything possible to conform. And it really left me unfulfilled with just an average salary. So the question is really be true to yourself or gamble with the corporate ladder? I could probably argue for both sides.
Thanks for your comment, Taylor! I was a conformer growing up too. 🙂
I think millennials need to recognize that there are trade-offs in the professional world; namely, that you can still be yourself at your job, but it may look much different than the version of you outside of work. If more people could see that they can adopt job-ready habits without completely abandoning their personalities, then they might be more likely to embrace the mainstream. Thanks for reading!