How to Launch Your Life and Move Out of Your Parent’s House

Remember when you were a kid and you would fantasize about what your life would look like in your 20s? You saw yourself living in a sleek, modern apartment with your best friend. You had your dream job and everyday at work was new and exciting. After work you’d meet up with your best friend at the latest bar or club. Life was fun and effortless.

Fast-forward and it’s been 6 months since your graduation. You’re living in your parents renovated “bonus room” which you know was once the garage. Your twin bed is wedged in between your mother’s old Stairmaster and 3 boxes filled with your father’s old baseball trophies.

What was once a “temporary” situation is starting to become, well, your life and all you can think is – what went wrong?

Nothing.

You didn’t do anything wrong. Your fantasy and reality lives are so different for two reasons:

a) Real life doesn’t always look the way you thought it would.

I remember my first job out of college. I had such a great time, for the first 6 months. Nothing big happened after that but up until that point I had been on the “semester” time clock. I was used to studying a subject and doing the work for it for approximately 4-6 months and then I would get a nice long break to recover and then the next semester would start.

I started that job in June. In December I got ½ of the 24^th off and the 25^th and I was back at work on the 26^th. That was my break. When I got back on the 26^th, it was the same job and same people. I wasn’t in college anymore. I was part of the working world.

The transition from structured time to the working world is hard for for everyone. When you’re just starting out, you’re usually at the bottom of the ladder. You’re not making a lot of money. Your tasks at work aren’t very glamorous. Your apartment is whatever you can afford.

b) You were born into a time where things have gone a little haywire.

I don’t need to remind you that the average college student today owes a little over $35,000 in college tuition. You’re falling behind and you haven’t even started yet.

While the economy is improving and continues to get better, more and more 20-somethings are finding themselves having to live with their parents longer than they expected.

Despite the unique pressures 20-somethings face today, it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. You can still create a career and a life you love. It’s just going to take you a bit more time that you thought and it’s going to force you to create a plan of action.

Here’s my “Get out of Your Parent’s Garage and Into Your Dream Life” in 5 Steps Plan:

1) Create an intention of how you want to be right now

Your life might not be quite what you dreamed of as a kid. But, just because you’re not living your ultimate 20-something life doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your life as it is. The best way to do this is by shifting your mindset.

The best way to shift your mindset and start living the life you want is by setting an intention. An intention is a form of being. How do you want to be in regard to a particular situation or event?

Think of a behavior that’s causing you internal strife. Have you been less than kind to your parents? Have you been putting yourself down around your job search? Set an intention this week to change a concrete behavior. You’ll start to see how setting an intention, not matter what it is, will increase your clarity and overall motivation.

2) Make some career decisions

When you’re in your 20s, making decisions can be tough. On the one hand because you’re young and have few attachments, your options can feel unlimited. Yet, at the same time, due to the lack of work and life experience, many of those options don’t always seem very exciting.

Don’t get caught in the cycle of “maybe I’ll do this…” “maybe I’ll do that…” The reality is that you’re not going to know what kinds of work you like or don’t like, until you actually do something.

For most people, being part of the working world means working a few different jobs until they find something they like. I want you to start making some career decisions so that you have control over your choices. If you don’t start making some choices for yourself then someone or something will make them for you.

3) Start to accept that life has changed

I’ve had many clients who struggled with the transition from college to adulthood. Remember my story from earlier? That’s me not being able to adjust and ultimately accept that I was no longer a full-time college student.

College was fun but there were also challenges. Working full-time and living on your own (yes you will move out of the garage) is also fun but challenging. One is not better or worse than the other. It’s not about comparing; it’s about acceptance.

If you keep fantasizing about college, you may end up applying to graduate school before you’re ready.

4) Start working towards moving out

Once you have some income coming in, you’ll want to start saving your money. You’re in a unique and precarious position right now. Depending on your arrangement with your parents, you may be collecting a full-time salary and paying little to no rent. The longer you stay with your parents the more comfortable you may get.

Start living within your means now. Temptation to spend your extra income on the new iPhone, car, shoes etc. will be high but these purchases have to wait. If you put aside that extra income you’re saving, you’ll be able to move out sooner than you thought. By establishing these good money-saving habits, you’re going to find the transition into “living completely on your own” is easier than you thought.

5) Keep reminding yourself that this isn’t the rest of your life, just right now…

 Remember how tough first semester freshmen year was? C’mon it can’t be just me that had a hard time adjusting. Living far away from your family and friends for the first time? Sharing a room with a stranger and trying to get acclimated to campus life?

Think of it this way, you’re a freshman in life right now and everything can feel overwhelming and stressful. It won’t last forever and eventually you’ll find yourself feeling like a second semester senior before you know it. The key to successfully launching out of your parents home is to take responsibility for your own life. Set those intentions, save your money and make decisions you can stand behind. This is your life and nobody else is going to live it for you.